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The Difference Is Profound I

I love the writer Anita Shreve. (Most women are surprised by this fact.) Just finished her magnificent The Weight of Water. No one else—and certainly no male—deals so lucidly or movingly, or consistently in such depth, with the painful tangle of what's called human relations. Simple fact: Women appreciate complex human relationships. Men are clueless.

Implication (I've said this before, but Shreve reminded me all over again): Men cannot "get" women. Period. Thence ...

MEN CANNOT DESIGN PRODUCTS-EXPERIENCES FOR WOMEN. PERIOD.

MEN SHOULD, FURTHERMORE, NOT ATTEMPT TO SELL TO WOMEN. PERIOD.

MEN WHO DISAGREE WITH THIS ARE DELUSIONAL. PERIOD.

Men approach & deal with the world in a Linear way. No twists. No turns. Little reflection, little attachment. Get the facts. Act. Move on. Let the chips fall where they may.

Women see bends and twists and reversals in every path that involves the interplay of humans. Women appreciate & live for those bends and switchbacks; they are the essence of the human experience on earth.

Implications for every aspect of business? Profound. (Don't tell House & Garden—see above.)

Tom Peters posted this on 12/20/04.

Comments

Field and Stream vs. House and Garden.

Kill or be killed vs. Building relationships

One vs. many

Power vs. people

Posted by Dan at December 20, 2004 11:46 AM

Disagree! I have 2 professional older sisters and a professional mom [dad too] ... so it is obvious that women are women ... I deal in holistic - relational constructs/communications as part of this male success story.

Women MUST step up internationally to ensure safety and equality - amazing how wimpie the USA fems are in not street marching against islamofascists, and other sexist societies - plus they must DEMAND TO be in front-line COMBAT like men.

Posted by Freeman at December 20, 2004 11:57 AM

Tom,

Your thoughts on marketing to women are sharp and wonderful and I mostly agree. In some time to come, we will look back at these blogs and smile: how could we not have seen this simple truth much earlier!

I do have a question: you have been married. Isnâ€™t it that you â€œsoldâ€ (i.e. exposed) the genuine positives of your being, the genuine positives of your thinking, attitudes and actions to Susan? Isnâ€™t entering into wedlock â€“ any relationship for that matter â€“ the ultimate sales event, or better even: selling a â€œtotal experienceâ€ with lots of WOW?

Then, would it be possible that men sell to women based on the sincere premise that all selling boils down to entering into a meaningful, mutually beneficial relationship where exchange and sharing is the fundament?

Isnâ€™t that what marketing should be all about anyway? This in response to Steveâ€™s sickening ad experience on America Westâ€¦

Look forward to receiving your thoughts on thisâ€¦

Chris
Colombia

Posted by Chris at December 20, 2004 1:51 PM

Wonder if gay men designers count?

Posted by dave at December 20, 2004 6:53 PM

Freeman - women are too damn smart to volunteer for front-line combat - a sense they seem to have in common with old white men behind the lines at HQ.

You are one *ucked-up chick to think otherwise!

Posted by sara at December 20, 2004 11:54 PM

I worked for a Fortune 500 division that sold 90% of their products to women (hair accessories). For the last 6 years they have had an executive staff that was exclusively male. Sales Managers were all males except for 1 lady, who was so successful she was quickly promoted to another division selling blinds.

Are you surprised that this division went from 200 million in sales to 125 million during this period?

I am not , and that is why I got the heck out fo there.

Posted by Tom at December 21, 2004 12:01 AM

Well, Tom, I get that you are serious about this "women thing".

From Re-imagine to Project04 to just about every opportunity you have had to sign your name to something you have made your point and position clear (and loud!).

But when you start speaking in absolutes - Men can't sell to women - etc., me thinketh you prostest too much.

As a lone, male, practitioner, I need to understand how to leverage the wisdom you (and many of your peers) have heaved upon us, i.e, women rule the pocketbooks of corporate america, OK. I get it.

And Baby-boomer Geezer Women are the sweet spot. Got it!

And men are wired differently than women. Check.

Pointing out the problem, and helping to explain it is great, but As a self-proclaimed management guru - shouldn't you be helping us poor, lowly guys figure out a better strategy than just giving up and hiring women?

Sorry dude - Need better advice than "just give up". Step up or Sh... - pick another topic to rant about.

~ Will

Posted by Will Mechem at December 21, 2004 12:46 AM

Almost all the FASHION DESIGNERS FOR WOMEN [and men] are men - from Valentino to Hilfiger to Calvin Klein to Armani to Gucci to Kenneth Cole to Prada to Manolo Blahnik to Martha Stewart [woops - for the K-Mart Lady]. This in an ultimate FEMININE MYSTIQUE AREA - AND YET ALMOST ALL MEN. Maybe a new radical "affirmative action/quota" program is needed?

Posted by Freeman at December 21, 2004 7:56 AM

This book seems interesting. However, considering that a new factory is being constructed every 26s in China, anyone read any recent books about the evolving economy in China that would knock my socks off?

Posted by Andrew at December 21, 2004 3:00 PM

Why isn't the picture of the book a hyperlink to amazon so I can buy it? Pictures of products should a-l-w-a-y-s be links to commerce. I clicked and nothing happened: Bad customer experience.

Posted by christopher at December 21, 2004 3:48 PM

MEN CANNOT DESIGN PRODUCTS-EXPERIENCES FOR WOMEN. PERIOD.

MEN SHOULD, FURTHERMORE, NOT ATTEMPT TO SELL TO WOMEN. PERIOD.

MEN WHO DISAGREE WITH THIS ARE DELUSIONAL. PERIOD.

Pick another rant, Tom. This is a stretch...and getting old. How about putting some hard facts in front of us, like...based on the response (comments) to this post and the posts immediately preceeding and following it, more than 90% of your audience is men.

JFC! When I read shit like this, I feel like I have been ripped off!

Posted by Troy Worman at December 22, 2004 9:20 AM

What about the men and women who don't fit into Tom's dichotomy? I know big business needs to segment people into boxes like that to be cost effective, but if I tried to go after one monolithic Man and Woman with my fledgling enterprise I'd be toast! I need to look at the individual and their needs buy generic viagra online in australia

What if I relate more to a product designed by a man than a very girly woman? Tom's logic seems to suggest that the man should not even attempt to sell to me, which probably means I buy neither product. To a company like Loreal, that wouldn't matter, but to a neighbourhood handmade cosmetics shop it would.

Posted by Mary-Ann Horley at December 22, 2004 10:08 AM

I agree with Tom. But I feel that he uses strong terms to illicit a discussion (bang on!)
I do believe that their is a common language that exists and one that Tom has been preaching for decades - PASSION! WOW! Men have a great difficulty speaking in these terms. But if you find yourself talking to someone about an idea - and you agree and you talk some more and you have an emotional reaction - you know that you are connecting; you know you are falling in love. As in Lovemarks - communication should be about moving along the respect / love axes. "Loyalty beyond reason" must be our (male & female) goal.

Posted by Steve Robert at December 22, 2004 10:37 AM

yo free-man girl donâ€™t be dissin us poor folk cause we ainâ€™t been blessed with the brain power of old white men

down Anacostia way the f-word aint no worse then the n-word and the b-word be thankful I didnt call you a MFer

I donâ€™t know NO woman lining up on Florida NE to haul no m-16

maybe things better in georgetown

poor folk fighting this old white mans war

Posted by sara at December 22, 2004 1:03 PM

Interesting counter new article below..

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/4117421.stm

Perhaps it's the estregen in the water system and testosterone in the meat that are causing perception problems...

Posted by Alan Ault at December 23, 2004 5:28 AM