dispatches from the new world of work

Don't Walk ... RUN!

RUN ... to your closest bookstore, or Amazon.com. Purchase a copy of Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets of Success, One Relationship at a Time, by Keith Ferrazzi (with Tahl Raz). It is the most extraordinary & valuable book I've come across in a long, long time! (Ah, the joys of arriving early at the Albany airport.) Endorsed by such people as my great pal Tim Sanders (Yahoo guru), the book on network building by a legendary network builder includes chapters such as: "Don't Keep Score," "Build It Before You Need It," "Do Your Homework," "Managing the Gatekeeper—Artfully," "Never Eat Alone," "Follow Up or Fail," "Pinging—All the Time," "Build Your Brand," and "Balance Is B.S." I'm only halfway through, but I've already found gems such as these:

"People tell us, 'If you just get more organized, if you just strike a balance between work and home, and limit yourself to the important people in your life, you'll feel better.' That's just totally misguided. What they should be saying is, 'I gotta get a life filled with people I love.' The problem, as I see it, isn't what you're working on, it's who you're working with. ... I think the problem in today's world isn't that we have too many people in our lives, it's that we don't have enough. ... How many people in our lives can walk into our homes and just open up the fridge and help themselves? Not many. People need 'refrigerator relationships' ..." (from the chapter "Balance Is B.S.")

"Over the years, I learned that the outrageous number of misperceptions clouding those who are relationship-builders is equaled only by the misperceptions of how relationship-building is done properly. ... Rarely was there [among the relationship-builders] any running tally of who did what for whom, or strategies concocted in which you give just so you could get. Over time, I came to see reaching out to people as a way to make a difference in people's lives as well as a way to explore and learn and enrich my own; it became the conscious construction of my life's path. Once I saw networking in this light, I gave myself permission to practice it with abandon in every part of my personal and professional life." (from "Becoming a Member of the Club")

"I learned that networking was about finding ways to make other people more successful. It was about working hard to give more than you get." (from "Self-help: A Misnomer")

"Where employees once found generosity and loyalty in the companies we worked for, today we must find them in a web of our own relationships. ... Today, we need each other more than ever." (from "Don't Keep Score")

"The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity." (from "Don't Keep Score")

"Nothing in my life has created opportunity like a willingness to ask, whatever the situation. ... Sometimes I fail. Audacity in networking has the same pitfalls and fears associated with dating. ... Sticking to the people we know is a tempting behavior; but unlike some forms of dating, the networker isn't looking to achieve only a single successful union." (from "The Genius of Audacity," which title stems from a quote from Goethe: "Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.")

"Set a goal for yourself of initiating a meeting with one new person a week. It doesn't matter where or with whom. Introduce yourself to someone on the bus. Slide up next to someone at the bar and say hello. Hang out at the company water cooler and force yourself to talk to a fellow employee you've never spoken with. You'll find it gets easier and easier with practice." (from "The Genius of Audacity")

As I said, run, don't walk ...

Tom Peters posted this on 03/15/05.

Comments

I think It can be a great book. IÂ´ve already bought it in Amazon.

Posted by felix gerena at March 15, 2005 10:51 AM

Thanks for the reference. Giving begets getting - friendly optimism and respect comes back in spades.

Posted by John at March 15, 2005 10:53 AM

I love that John - and I agree with you 100% my friend

I always say

'The best way to GAIN power .... is to LET GO of power.'

Also a Tom Peters quote I use time and time again in talks is;

'Get other people to do your work - they usually do it better than you.'

I think those with REAL and LASTING credibility in the world of leadership and Management always GIVE more than they take.

My great 'guru,' supervisor and role model is 75 year old (going on 18!) Professor George Giarchi in Plymouth, England.

George is just wonderful - an inspirational person - and his greatest quality in my view - and the view of anyone who knows George - is his humility and modesty.

Thanks Tom for the reference - I will be ordering my copy this afternoon from Amazon

Trevor

Posted by Trevor Gay at March 15, 2005 11:35 AM

"Slide up next to someone at the bar and say hello." -Geeeee.. I like that idea..

Posted by /pd at March 15, 2005 12:04 PM

I just love this kind of ideas, so needed in this our world, everyday a little more dehumanized. It's like the essence of the true meaning of life nicely simplified!.
As we get more involved into technology I believe a proportional aim towards human authenticity and value is more and more important.
It's also a milenary lesson of Life that we can re-invent each day to addapt it to our lives and by so make a difference on it and in the lives of all those around.

Posted by Omara at March 15, 2005 12:53 PM

Hmmm. Wonder if this book would help me justify to my wife increasing my restaurant budget.

I used to be highly skeptical of the whole networking idea. Still am. The local chamber of commerce hosts networking breakfasts each month. I avoid them like the plague. I'd rather choose the people with whom I network.

I'm inspired. Maybe I'll make a few bold phone calls this week and try to schedule lunches with a few "untouchables." That may not be Keith's point and I might be off, but oh well.

Posted by Dustin at March 15, 2005 8:32 PM

I also wonder why when I searched for the book on amazon.com, I also was presented with several books of nude women in my search results. Guess that's one way to make a book popular.

Posted by Dustin at March 15, 2005 8:35 PM

I've been waiting for this book since an Inc. article on Keith in Jan 2003.

http://www.inc.com/magazine/20030101/25049.html

I bought the book and it didn't disappoint.

Posted by Dale Peterson at March 16, 2005 10:24 AM

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I will be reading this book as soon as I get my hands on a copy. I love what Ferrazzi says about "refrigerator relationships." Many have only puddle-depth connections instead of oceanic relationships.

This is one of the perils of aging. (I'm preparing myself for a bop on the head if anyone is still reading the replies...) As we age, we do become more isolated and have a tendency to stick with the familiar. I continue to challenge older women to take risks - do something new, different. Befriend someone "unusual." Whatever they do, go after it with the consuming curiosity of a child.

I'm not sure why that curiosity dies as we age but it's alive in well in me! And I'm always heartened to see that not only is it alive and well in Tom Peters, it spreads like a wonderful passion virus to all who come into contact with this blog. Well done, TP team!

Posted by M.R. Maguire at March 17, 2005 2:19 PM

You people are on crack. Do yourselves a favor ... call some of the folks that Keith 'knows' or, better yet, former colleagues and employers, and ask about Mr. Ferrazzi. You will be amazed at what you will find.

I would rather never eat again, than eat with this fraud.

Posted by Chris at March 21, 2005 5:57 PM

Read the book, loved the tips. Thanks for pointing it out on the blog :)

Posted by Andreas at March 22, 2005 4:43 AM

Loved the book, tons of great & practical advice. For those that enjoyed this book, also check out Trading Up by by Michael Silverstein, Neil Fiske.

Posted by marijab at April 13, 2005 11:13 AM