Comments

I was missing women's issue on TPs. Women may be different to men but "they rule" anyway.
Trevor, we forget your eccentricities too.

Posted by Omara at December 3, 2005 3:20 PM

My rewordingv on the subject, if I am allowed to: women do hear what men don't say always it is worthwhile.

Posted by Omara at December 3, 2005 3:25 PM

Tom,

I agree with your observation, but you lost me with your design comment. Women are much much better at building and maintaining relationships and so much of business today is exactly that.

As far as men being unable to design things that women get, well iPod first springs to mind, but the reality is that many (most?) consumer goods are designed by men and women like at least some of them.

Why is that (and I apoligize for my generalizations)? Well men could certainly just be holding women down (still), but it may have more to do with the other points you made about our differences. Maybe women want to design things by committee? Maybe women don't want to be so bold as to unilaterally force their vision on people? I offer no definitive answers, just think that we approach things for different angles and while it often makes for challenging interactions, both approaches are needed.

Posted by Kurt Wendelken at December 4, 2005 7:04 AM

So sad that Hugo Chavez (see above) gets five times the # of comments that this subject does.

Posted by tom peters at December 4, 2005 12:18 PM

I agree

Posted by Omara at December 4, 2005 8:44 PM

Thank you for saying this, Tom. Thank you for pointing out that gender differences remain differences - not shortcomings, not superiorities, but differences.

Difference is the beauty and the essence of life. In fact, if men were like women, men would be women. May be they are, depending on the way we look at it.

As a young woman, I feel the oppression of not accepting myself as a woman, and of always having to feel that I have to transform myself into what I am not: a man. We can't begin to estimate the time that humanity has spent in the futility of similarizing men and women. Why, after all, can we not accept our diverse natures and march on towards a harmonious co-existence?

Isn't it actually fun that there are actually some things that I cannot do, which someone else will do for me and vice versa?

Posted by Ramla A. at December 5, 2005 6:51 AM

I'm a little behind on my RSS readlist, but I found your observation somewhat amusing. Here we have the essential debate on the relationship between the male and female species, yet it gets a fifth of the attention of the 'Hugo Chavez' debate. Having now read 'that debate', yet pleading ignorance due to 'higher priorities', I think it has evidenced more the differences between how men and women also react. It's obvious that Nancy R is offended by your stance in that respect, whilst you resort to a eversomore logical arguement, Nancy closes the door and throws your books out of the window. I can speak at great lengths at what it takes to work on a successful relationship since I gave up a successful career in the USA to start all over from scratch again on an island in the middle of the Mediterrean. Men and Women are very different and it's just better that way, but what a beautiful life it is when it all goes right. As I refer to it 'la bella vita'. Everything else is just details!

P.S. When Nancy R has finished cleaning her shelves, tell her I have a bookshelf free, I'll even pay the postage.

Posted by Phil@Italy at December 6, 2005 6:32 AM

I just wanted to add one last point, what is it that inspires us men, us women, us humans, to do anything? What is it that keeps life going? I mean the fondamental reason. It's the interaction between man and women. The attraction, the love, the committment, the desire, the devotion, the miscomprehension, the arguements, the making ups. Good motive to do anything if you ask me.

Posted by Phil@Italy at December 6, 2005 6:38 AM

Hi All. I think this gets less comments because we've all been trained that it's a touchy topic. One that can severely negatively impact our daily/monthly/yearly TLC quotient.

What's even more interesting to me is the women developing so-called "male" traits and men developing so-called "female" traits. It would be hard to argue that Maureen Down was interested in developing relationships with her "Are Men Necessary" book. Likewise, Martha, the new queen of domesticity seems a bit cold and calculated to me. More professional than the mothering type one would normally associate with what she does.

Similarly, at my college and during my experience in the counter-culture/punk scene, I found legions of boy/men (I myself was one of them) who thought of emasculating themselves as the way to something higher, more noble. There are scads of men everywhere (Wife Swap will show you one a week) who take on traditional nurturing roles to the point where they make 50s housewives look downright empowered.

I'm interested to watch these extreme positions create their own synthesis. Much like a stifling mainstream created the 60s, the now omnipresent counter-culture is creating an enormous desire for all things straight, normal, clean, orderly, understandable, warm, sacred and bright. The reaction not being the answer, but rather a deeper, newly found center.

I'm very much looking forward to (and working on creating) this new improved (deeper, flexible, real, fearless, relaxed, fun, emotive, inclusive) mainstream. Call it modern culture 2.0, baby.

It shouldn't be too long before we start to get some good movies, bands, magazines, designers, and books out of it.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Posted by Eben at December 13, 2005 2:50 PM

""""""""Yesterday on Valentines Day I had the most fantastic example to underline Barbara and Allan Pease wonderful book - 'Why men don't listen and women can't read maps''
My partner Annie decorated our lounge with four huge red balloons to celebrate Valentines day – a fantastic and thoughtful gesture that sums Annie up well. Although I was working at the PC IN THE LOUNGE I didn’t notice the balloons for two hours and only then because Annie told me!!That was after I had not noticed earlier two balloons she had tied on to the light pull cord in the bedroom!! I didn’t notice those two till I went to switch on the light!!! Annie later showed me the letter received from the local council about road works that would cause disruption in our street for a few weeks and I made a comment about the name of the guy writing the letter – his surname was PLANT and it just struck me that was ironic when talking about road works and heavy equipment being in the road!! Annie said "How come you notice that detail but didn’t notice 6 huge red balloons!!!" That is an absolutely true story word for word!! Another example about the difference in men and women. The great news is Annie still loves me ‘cos she knows me well and always forgives my eccentricities - bless her :-)"""""
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^HOGWASH.

To 'prove' stereotypes this banal, selective vision is required.

I'm posting for the sole reason that I had a similar experience that points toward a conclusion different from yours. My roommate decorated our room - totally decked it out, to be exact - for Christmas, and I didn't notice until she came back over 24 hours later. The last time I checked, I was biologically female.

(Should I check again? 'Cause it's just not NATURAL for a female to not behave like a Nicholas Sparks-reading, [deep, committed relationship with a] man-and-manicure obsessed, living breathing stereotype who picked her wedding china out at the age of 12.)

To answer Tom's question: With the possible exception of the minds of those whose belief is to the contrary, nothing is "that simple." Warren Farrell is an extremist, but, as is common among those who seek to repackage the status quo as 'revolutionary', an uninteresting one.

Posted by C. at December 19, 2005 11:35 PM