Comments

Amen brother.

Posted by max at November 2, 2006 10:30 AM

Tom -

Thank you is my most used word, thought, and gesture. I can say it and show it in many languages and across many cultures. It is my first thought in the day, my last one at night.

I have a post on my blog on "Letter Writing, The Lost Art" that addresses that, in part [ http://conversationagent.typepad.com/conversation_agent/2006/10/letter_writing.html ]. I am also about to post on generosity in the blogosphere.

Posted by Valeria Maltoni at November 2, 2006 10:42 AM

A "ping" can be powerful. Recently I was walking through Soho in NY, past a friend's apartment. He and I usually have a great time when I'm in New York, but this time he was in LA. I sent him a quick text message. "Walking past your place. Wish you were here!" A minute later I get the reponse: "I do too! I need another Red Bull to make it through this meeting!"

We each devoted about 15 seconds to acknowledge the other. It may be just a small increment, but our relationship has moved forward a bit.

In a good relationship the little communications, thank-you or otherwise, are a powerful, genuine reinforcement. Your relationship is better after they happen. (If they are not genuine, they are called "spam," and they hurt a relationship!)

Posted by Steve Yastrow at November 2, 2006 10:57 AM

Inspiring.

(Literally, in the sense of "made me do something".)

I've just written a couple of thank yous - to people I've been working with (at a distance) for a year or so.

Thanks for the inspiration.

Posted by Mark Harrison at November 2, 2006 11:29 AM

Politeness and being nice have always been a competitive edge - and more importantly just the right thing to do. So simple, but so elusive. Reminds me of a comment I heard many years, "We'd all buy a lot more if we could just get waited on." Same principle of being attentive, nice and polite. Thank you, Tom. Thank you very much. (are you smiling? i'll bet you are)

Posted by Leonard Klaatu at November 2, 2006 11:48 AM

Agree my friend,

Regards from Mexico

Posted by LUIS ROMERO at November 2, 2006 12:04 PM

Mom started us early & often re: polite & saying thanks ... competitive times though - some read always polite as weakness sign in free enterprise system.

Posted by sean_thanks at November 2, 2006 12:45 PM

Generally agree that most of us like to be thanked and should get into the habit of thanking for small favours and acts of kindness and support-I would add smiling often and genuinely asking how people are (and listening to the answer)to the equation.

Having said all that, I agree with Sean that in some organisations these 'soft' people skills are not valued very highly and are not the way to 'get ahead'

Posted by tomjam at November 2, 2006 1:23 PM

My mother set the gold standard in this for me. Every day of her adult life she wrote three thank-you notes. Once when I was very much younger I asked my mother, "What if there's no one to thank?" She fixed me with that steely look that brooked no nonsense and said, "Wally, there's ALWAYS someone to thank." So it has been and remains.

Posted by Wally Bock at November 2, 2006 1:55 PM

I gleaned that advice years ago from one of your earlier books, and I'm forever grateful for hearing it. That's one of those all-too-important-to-business-and-life keys that they never taught me at engineering school (Rose-Hulman in my case). Thanks Tom!

Posted by curt wehrley at November 2, 2006 6:01 PM

Tom

"Gratitude" is universally magic AND if it is a truly genuine feeling then it "works both sides of the street"... Both giver and receiver of even a simple "thank you" can feel instantly so much better about themselves... The great pity is so many people record the simple act of someone saying "thank you" as REMARKABLE.. Why isn't saying a genuine and a caring "thank you" a commonplace event?

Thank you Tom!
Richard

Posted by Richard Lipscombe at November 2, 2006 6:05 PM

I learned how to pray quite late in my life. Somebody taught me how to, I will share the same with you.

Three parts of the prayer :

Ist , Say Thank you, To any one, to things, To colleagues that helped you during the day, to yourself, To god .......

IInd Acknowledge what is, By acknowledging we mean accepting and taking responsibility for things as they are.

Last, Intending , Declaring to yourself whatever you want to do.

I believe the first part i.e. thanking yourself and others makes a strong base for the rest of the two parts ( i.e. Acknowledging & intending). It leaves you more complete.

Posted by Lokesh Nagpal at November 2, 2006 11:12 PM

HOW SAD it is that Sean and tomjam are right that the softer skills are often seen as weaknesses in business and corporate world. I am a proud, lifelong member of the soft side of management. The hard route is the simple route. This requires focus on processes, systems and numbers that cannot look you in the eye. That is frankly a doddle and relies on no emotional investment – anyone can do that. On the other hand, to understand how people tick takes time, energy, EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT and requires far more insight. I have never accepted the old adage 'you have to be hard to get on' or ‘you are not hard enough to make a CEO.’ The norm for people in the softer school of management is to say ‘thank you.’ That is simply good manners or as Wally and Sean say – it’s what our Mom’s teach us. It is not a weakness to say thank you, it is a STRENGTH.

Posted by Trevor Gay at November 3, 2006 3:18 AM

PS ... Forgive me for extending the 'thank you' debate very, very slightly - this is a story I learned from Nicky Gumbel in his wonderful book Questions of Life.

'Albert McMakin was a 24 year old farmer who had recently come to faith in Christ. He was so full of enthusiasm that he filled a truck with people and took them to a meeting to hear about Jesus. There was a good looking farmer’s son whom he was especially keen to get to a meeting, but this young man was hard to persuade – he was busy falling in and out of love with different girls and did not seem to be attracted to Christianity. Eventually Albert McMakin managed to persuade him to come by asking him to drive the truck. When they arrived, Albert’s guest decided to go in and was ‘spellbound’ and began to have thoughts he had never known before. He went back again and again until one night he went forward and gave his life to Jesus Christ. The year was 1934. Since then Billy Graham has led thousands to faith in Jesus Christ. We cannot all be like Billy Graham but we can all be like Albert McMakin.’

Applying Nicky’s story to the business world, I would say; if we mentor just one person in our entire career we may be doing something that can change the world.

Posted by Trevor Gay at November 3, 2006 7:29 AM

For most of us ordinary mortals for whom 90% of resolves remain just that, what is missing could be that elusive "Go Point".

http://ideaburger.blogspot.com

Jay, from Bangalore

Posted by Jayakumar Hariharan at November 3, 2006 9:33 AM

Tom Peters,
Just a note to say, “Thank you!” for the story — was it 20 years
ago — about the dairy(?) store in Connecticut that sent every one
of its employees through Dale Carnegie training. You inspired
me and my wife to take the course ourselves. Your posting
reminded me of that because the course included reading
Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” which is
full of practical ideas on how to do what you recommend.

John, CRO of UUUGBI (Unaffiliated, Unassociated, and
Uncontrollable Grameen Boosters of the Internet)

P. S. And I’m hoping I can soon thank you for sharing your
enthusiasm for Muhammad Yunus and Grameen at
http://boards.fool.com/Messages.asp?bid=112928

Posted by ShakespearesFool at November 3, 2006 8:26 PM

Jay, maybe one should program a daily popup which reminds you to do your thank you?

Posted by tom peters at November 4, 2006 2:51 PM

Tom,

I love this quote by Bo Bennett.

“While we are focusing on fear, worry, or hate, it is not possible for us to be experiencing happiness, enthusiasm or love.”

The little things we do matter a lot.

John Bradley Jackson

Posted by John Bradley Jackson at November 12, 2006 2:27 AM