dispatches from the new world of work

Listening, Secular Variety

Dubai, skyline from across the water

I've been talking about the power of listening, offering what I'll call the "spiritual" version—which I commend. But I thought I also owed you the "secular" version, including a doubtless inappropriate remark. You'll find it below and as an attached PPT.

Listening may or may not be an "act of love" or way to "tap into people's dreams," but it sure as hell is (1) an uncommon act of courtesy and recognition of worth from which (2) you will invariably learn amazing stuff if you can just keep your damn mouth shut and ears open with an expression of interest on your face and (3) it will build-maintain relationships beyond your wildest dreams. (And if you are young, which I am not, the surprisingly uncommon act of listening is the most foolproof seduction "tool"-"method" ever invented, because no one, M or F, is ever able to resist the overwhelming attraction that comes from being listened to and taken seriously—and when I was young I was always amazed at how the most unlikely sorts, compared to me, "got the girl" because they were able to keep their mouths shut and ears open and at least act as if they cared more than anything on earth about what they were hearing.) Also, above, Dubai, 26°C (78°F), 1210.07, from my hotel room window.

Tom Peters posted this on 12/11/07.

Comments

also useful for all you parents out there!

What the children of today need is a damn good listening to!

Posted by PaulH at December 11, 2007 12:07 PM

Well we have two ears and one mouth is necessary to listen more and to talk less...this is !!!! ok...

Posted by JOSE GILBERTO at December 12, 2007 1:00 PM

If we view communication as some combination of speaking and listening, it's amazing to me that the number of books devoted to the speaking side probably exceeds those devoted to the listening side by more than 100 to 1. In western society at least, for the last 2500 years we've been more interested in the choices we have in how to PRESENT information than in the choices we have in how to RECEIVE information. (For centuries, oratory and rhetoric were taught in university curricula with no "listening" counterpart.) I think our communication model in the West is dangerously imbalanced.

Posted by John O'Leary at December 16, 2007 5:55 PM

My personal rule-of-thumb is to listen twice as much as I speak.

Posted by Gary Davis at December 20, 2007 11:10 AM