dispatches from the new world of work

100 Ways to Succeed #140:

Stand In Front of the Damn Mirror And Practice Your Confident Look—Until You Get It Right!

As one sage (who he?) put it, "Bosses are not allowed to have bad days—especially on bad days."

I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area during the Joe Montana era—that is, when Joe led the now wobbly SF 49ers to four Super Bowl wins in four tries. A lot of Mr. Montana's excellence, it was said, emanated from his near-miraculous ability to make his teammates believe that the impossible was not only possible, but inevitable, right now, and regardless of how dire the straits were. Sure, he had a good coach, a good team, and terrific athletic skills—but that, as his coach, the late Bill Walsh, once told me, was only part of the story. Bill was a master of drafting attitude-and-character-over-raw-skills; and that's why he had drafted Montana in the first place. And that's what Montana delivered with matchless regularity.

You are not Joe Montana. And neither am I. And perhaps, like my wife, you actually hate football. No matter, I'm sure you get my point. If you don't, let me spell it out: At this professionally precarious time, you'd better practice your Joe Montana-Rudy Giuliani 9/11 act. That is, no matter what your fears and qualms are, you have to exude character and confidence—not confidence that we can bring 3,000 people in the Towers back to life, but that we can soldier on, that we can attack the day with vigor and determination, and perhaps even see some good that may well emerge from the bad.

Ms./Mr. Boss, listen up: You are finally doing what you've been paid to do for the last umpteen years—you are called upon to lead in a time of crisis, financial crisis, yes, but also-mostly human crisis.

Advice: Stand in front of the mirror, or whatever, and practice your Joe (or Jane***) Montana demeanor! Until you get it right!

(***As to "Joe" and "Jane," I am fully aware of gender differences. "Steely look of determination" sounds, in retrospect, "very guy" to me. The way in which women-Janes will exude confidence and practice MBWA and tend to relationships is likely to be far different than the typical male-Joe approach. No matter. The leadership necessity is the same—regardless of the way in which it is expressed. Incidentally, or not so incidentally, at times of stress gender differences are likely to be particularly pronounced—and hence the possibility of botched communication particularly high. There is, I repeat, no reason whatsoever to believe that either men or women are better at dealing with tough times—there is every reason to believe that styles will differ.)

Tom Peters posted this on 09/27/08.

Comments

I too lived in the Bay Area during the Niners glory years. I am a die hard Raiders fan but one had to respect the 49'ers outstanding and sustained record of excellence. You are right about Joe Montana a.k.a. Joe Cool. LEADER! 31 fourth quater comebacks. I will always remember his performance in the 79 Cotton Bowl. Sick from the flu, hypothermic. He re-entered the game with less than 8 minutes left in the fourth quarter and behind 34-12 and led Notre Dame to a 35-34 victory over the Houston Cougars.

With a person like Bill Walsh who has you pointed out knew how to identify and develop "talent" and build a team, and a frontline leaders like Joe and Ronnie Lott to excecute and lead their teams, how can you lose? This is a proven formula for what what ails failing companies and gridlocked governments...

Posted by Dave Wheeler at September 27, 2008 4:27 PM

‘Ms./Mr. Boss, listen up: You are finally doing what you’ve been paid to do for the last umpteen years—you are called upon to lead in a time of crisis, financial crisis, yes, but also-mostly human crisis.’

Great point Tom and an even greater action for those leaders who don't know how to do this stuff is for them to put people in place that can inspire the people who do the work. To be brutally honest there are many people called 'leaders' who are in the wrong place and the bravest leadership decision they can make is to get out of the way and let someone else take on the role of motivating people. I may be harsh in saying this but if the leaders have taken the company to where it is now – i.e. on the edge – why should we suddenly believe they have the ability to lift the company from the mire.

There are great leaders in he every organisation but they are usually not at the ‘top’ of the structure. Find the great leaders who are in the ‘middle’ … or even more likely at the 'bottom' (how I hate that word) end of the structure and give them the power – they will solve the problems.

Posted by Trevor Gay at September 27, 2008 6:22 PM

I landed in Silicon Gulch in the Montana years as an IT consultant with no previous experience, more than a little worried that the experience would be like the proverbial selling ice to the eskimos.

The attitude you describe, can-do and confidence in the face of the unknown, and then finding a way to deliver, got me everywhere.

Today, as fearless leader of a small IT boutique, the same principles apply, and work, for both customers and employees.

(And I still couldn't give two shakes for football!)

Rick in VT

Posted by Rick in VT at September 28, 2008 2:15 AM

While I understand that leadership is not based on gender, I do wonder if styles do, in fact, make the difference. If in times of crisis styles are highlighted or made pronounced, and if styles (perhaps based on personality type more than gender?), matter, all things being equal, will gender indeed make the difference? In other words, does gender, by nature or nuture, equate to a difference, again all things being equal, if only in style. And if so, could this difference, in fact, make the difference?

I too lived in San Fransico, in the middle of Montana's years with the 49ers. I did not go to Candlestick Park much, but I did hang out at the War Memorial Opera House and Golden Gate Park doing Tai Chi with seniors who were six and seven times my senior. They were really old, but sharp and limber. They moved with such strength and grace. Beautiful! What a time! And, for the record, I love football. (Big Raiders and Michigan fan!) My seven brothers saw to this!

Posted by Judith Ellis at September 28, 2008 11:25 AM

Judith...a Raider's fan? One more thing to add to the list that describes your "terrifc-ness"!

Posted by Dave Wheeler at September 28, 2008 11:49 AM

Yes, Dave, I am most certainly a Raider's fan. But I must admit to initially just following along in my brothers' footsteps. The teams they like, I liked; the teams they didn't like, neither did I. Things are somewhat different now. But some things, as in my allegiances, may never change. Your kindness is appreciated.

Posted by Judith Ellis at September 28, 2008 12:25 PM

Tom mentioned gender differences in communication styles and, Judith, you asked specifically if there are differences.

Judith Glaser, who is one of our bloggers at SuccessTelevision.com and has written numerous books on leadership, actually explains the differences and how we can better communicate if we understand them. After all we want men AND women to hear us.

Here's the article:
http://successtelevision.com/blogs/blog/2008/09/18/how-men-women-communicate-differently/

Posted by helen at September 28, 2008 7:36 PM

Thank you, Helen, for the article. From it I gather that by nature women and men listen differently and by so I assume the decisions we make will be different. I guess perhaps the gaining of more knowledge produces a greater context and perhaps eventually a better decision, but is there ever a need to simply go from point a to b with the vortex? I assume that it might also be a matter of how quickly the information is processed. Another thing to think about is whether women's ability to gather information from a larger context enables a better understanding of context and assist in the vortex.

So, while men seem to seen things singularly women see things in larger contexts enabling the past, present and possible future to be engulfed in a decision in a much quicker pace which may be needed in times of crisis. I asked earlier in one of the first post if there were any women who were involved in the crisis in a senior executive role for these very points. I wondered women were present during the crisis in decision making roles and if they are also part of the solution in these same roles. Of course, Speaker Pelosi is an obvious one on the solution end. But the framers of the bailout bill obviously are not.

When speaking of nature (science) and nurture (society) I wonder if it would really matter what science reveals if we continue to train our brains to go against nature. Can we set new brains waves in that we become what we want through a series of actions and thought patterns? For example, in perhaps a negative light though the positive could work too, it appears that some women contrary to science have become like men in communicating. It appears that in order to be seen as a leader with authority, women many times take on the language and POSTURE of a hard-line focused thinker. (This too is a bit of a misnomer. Think Warren Buffett or General Colin Powell.) It was obvious that Hillary Clinton battled this as she ran for the presidency. Sometimes it was difficult to know which Clinton was speaking, one driven by nature or nurture. Although, I must admit that time when she cried before the cameras (which was probably honestly engendered) I wanted to yell like Tom Hanks in A League of their Own, "There’s no crying in the presidential politics!." But, of course, there is and I felt bad by my sentiment that day.

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Here's one final thought: Women do not only see things in larger pictures, they also listen for inflections and tone and watch body language intently. As I watched the presidential debate I was incensed by the disdain, derision, and disrespect clear in Senator McCain's tone and body. Forget his words or expertise on foreign knowledge. This man will lead in a way that will seek exterminate all those who think differently (will be in four wars simultaneously: Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran and Russia) and dismiss anyone who opposes him in his cabinet. Tone and body language reach (in addition to his many lectures and attacks on Senator Obama) even when understanding is clear. My mother used to tell us that our body language was speaking so loudly that she could not even hear what we were saying. Many women undoubtedly felt this listening to McCain during the debate.

And another final final thought: Senator Obama appears to me to have many of the leadership qualities that are very much a part of both the way women and men communicate. Diplomacy (elegance and grace in stance, along with a heart for not only our people but the people of the world) ARE important, whether spoken in northern or southern tones, while we protect our country if necessary (preferably not) in war. Is this the language of a woman? So be it! In fact, it is the language that may indeed make us safer. The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Michael Mullins, says that "we can't kill our way to victory." Diplomacy is obviously needed, including the kind of communication that women are used to having daily in all manners of conversation. In this light, bring 'em on: Iran, Russia, and South Korea.

Posted by Judith Ellis at September 29, 2008 10:06 AM

If
http://www.kipling.org.uk/poems_if.htm

Posted by Stuart Jones at September 30, 2008 3:32 AM

Mr. Jones...that is outstanding! If one is looking for a "leadership" model, you can find a great deal to build on in those words.

Posted by Dave Wheeler at September 30, 2008 6:44 AM

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Thank you, Stuart, for the reminder. This poem was one that my mother quoted to us often as we were growing up as well as Mother to Son by Langston Hughes:

Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor --
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now --
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.