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Take It From Your Old Pappy
If you're like me, you've heard a dozen dozen people say, "I can't wait until the election is over." I share the feeling—sorta.
Fact is, we say this kind of thing a lot: "I can't wait 'til Spring." "I can't wait until _____ makes his mind up, so that we can get moving." Etc.
Bad!
Bad!
Bad!
Your correspondent (me) will be Sweet Sixteen, whoops Sixty-Six, next week. And since I don't expect to live to 132, I can say with assurance that I'm playing in the second half. And therefore I refuse to allow myself to fall into the "I wish it were next Wednesday" trap—even though I more or less do.
I have at least disciplined myself to the point of giving myself a verbal slap in the face when the "wish away" thought crosses my mind.
One does reasonably wish the surgery were over, that final exams were past, that their kid would get back from Iraq. Nonetheless, and I'm no Zen practitioner, the goal, as in the goal, is always, as in always, to make the absolute most of the moment—because, to state the obvious but often ignored truism, the moment-this moment is all we ever have.
And it is absolutely positively as true at 26 or 36 or 46 or 56 as it is at 66.
I am still not very good at this—and often "wish this trip were over" so I can get back home. Well, I do want to be at home, but my life for the next few days is here (lovely Durango CO and then magical Mexico City) not there—and I damn well don't want to piss away a moment of it. Neither should you.
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This is why I wish I could live my life, in fact if anyone every asks this is how I tell them they should live. But trouble is it's too easy to drop into. Anyone got a magic potion to stop me doing this?
Posted by Richard Michie at October 30, 2008 5:30 PM
"Anyone got a magic potion to stop me doing this?"
No. But micro-lectures to yourself and day's end self-evaluations help me a little--though my grade is usually in the "D" area.
Posted by tom peters at October 30, 2008 5:38 PM
Tom, why are you in Durango? Are you following the McCain campaign stops like a Deadhead?
Durango was the site of my first great enlightenment. My first job was at age 16, at the McDonald's in Durango. I'd been dunked in the cold water of the working world.
It was my 3rd day there, in the middle of the lunch rush. I was out mopping the lobby, cleaning up tables, getting yelled at my managers to do this, do that. My good grades in school didn't mean squat here. No more cruising through the day for me.
My dad came in for lunch, and asked me how I was doing. Indignantly, almost in tears, I told him "They don't pay me enough to do this (crap)!" He smiled and said "Yes, they do. They pay you minimum wage."
In that answer, he shined the light on what I hadn't considered: I was starting at the bottom, as we all must. My entire attitude shifted and I changed how I saw work.
It was much like your way of seeing "We must get things done now, and live in the moment, do the best we can with what we have." I stopped being a whiner, and started doing. From that day forward, I have always looked for the bright side of the gloom.
Thanks for bringing that to mind again.
Posted by Andy Lester at October 30, 2008 5:49 PM
As an avowed pragmatist – I would say, tell yourself every day;
“I'm gonna live today as if it were my last day on earth... cos one day you will be right”
I heard today when playing at my local golf course that a 52 year old member of the club had collapsed and died suddenly last week of an unexpected and unpredictable heart attack. I can’t be sure but I guess he may have put off telling those people who were important to him how much he loved them. And as regards all the things he wanted to do he may have said – ‘I’ll get round to doing this or that next week, next month or next year.’
Life is not too short if you cram good stuff into it. Enjoy life and do whatever good you can for others and yourself while you still can – don’t put that important stuff off until tomorrow.
Posted by Trevor Gay at October 30, 2008 6:19 PM
I never say I can't wait till -
whatever -
I just don't -
no philosophy behind it whatsoever.
But I will be glad if Obama wins.
Like most everyone else on the PLANET.
Posted by zed at October 30, 2008 10:52 PM
"They don't pay me enough to do this (crap)!" He smiled and said "Yes, they do. They pay you minimum wage."
Andy, hats off to your Dad. Mine never said it so articulately, but he surely implied it on far more than one occasion.
Posted by tom peters at October 31, 2008 6:39 AM
Great stuff. Similar to Trevor's story: we all came to work last Monday to find out a coworker (58) had died late Sunday night of a heart attack. All the same thoughts expressed here crossed my mind.
It also confirmed to my friend that he was doing the right thing and leaving the "security" of his Fortune 500 company job to go work at his wife's 2 year old business to help build their ideal company and not someone else's.
It also confirmed to me that I need to keep working the insane hours of two "jobs" as I build up a dream of my own.
Thank you to Tom and all the posters on this site for the inspiration.
Posted by Todd Reed at October 31, 2008 8:40 AM
"But I will be glad if Obama wins. Like most everyone else on the PLANET."
Zed - From where I sit on this side of the pond - and given my limited knowledge of the US political scene - it seems to me Mr Obama provides enthusiasm, optimism, a large dose of pragmatism but most of all HOPE. I HOPE he is successful next week. We need more optimism in the world.
Posted by Trevor Gay at October 31, 2008 9:00 AM
Do we ever arrive? Is it ever over? It's what we make of the journey that matters.
Posted by Rob at October 31, 2008 10:03 AM
When my friend died suddenly, I suddenly felt as if I might die, too, not any day -- any second. I realized that I could actually, and this visit to earth would be over. Whenever I think of it, which is often, I feel, taste, smell, see, hear the moment. It is always beautiful.
Posted by Marianne at October 31, 2008 10:52 AM
I just spent a week of bereavement time helping a former co-worker as she heard the doctor say "there is nothing more we can do" for her cancer. She wrestled with "I should have X, Y, or Zed more" and realized that her planned retirement was not going to include any trips to fun places, but a bedside commode instead. Then, over the weekend, a daughter's 16 year old friend was crushed under a semi in a freak accident.
Tom, your suggestion is right on. Today is it. Don't wish it away.
Lark
Posted by Lark at October 31, 2008 1:21 PM
Here, here. I SO TOTALLY agree with you. For the last 10 years, I've consciously tried to abolish the "things will be so great when..." mentality. I refuse to spend my life waiting for something to be over. I'd rather be living right in this moment instead of waiting for next week or next month or next year. Thanks for the reminder.
Posted by Heidi Reimer-Epp [Stationery Scoop] at October 31, 2008 1:50 PM
One of my favorite quotes: “Life is not a journey to the grave, with the intention of arriving safely, in one pretty and well-preserved piece, but to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out and defiantly shouting ‘Geronimo!!!’” (Author unknown)
I sincerely hope I accomplish it!
Posted by Al True at October 31, 2008 2:16 PM
Hey, Tom,
(A voice from way back in Palo Alto...) Well put. Reminds me of a nice quote from Meister Eckhardt, the 14th century heretic (is there any other kind of good bishop?) "God wants only one thing from you: The gift of a peaceful heart."
Wish it were easier to hand that over every day of the week. Maybe it's in Durango today... Best to ya!
Posted by Nick Corcodilos at October 31, 2008 2:33 PM
Al, the quote has appeared in several of TP's presentations attributed to an American racing car driver (but I can't recall the name). The description also included the words "leaking oil" if I remember right.
Posted by Rob at November 2, 2008 3:13 AM
Nick, what's up?
Posted by tom peters at November 2, 2008 10:41 AM
Thank you, Nick Corcodilos. What beautiful words.
Posted by Judith Ellis at November 2, 2008 12:13 PM