Comments

My question is

How do you feel when they succeed (or when they fail)?

Also if you are a manager how do you feel when they want to leave your team?

Gutted because they are so annoyed with you they want to leave?

Annoyed that the traitors left after all you did for them?

Elated that you (in a small way) helped them to their dream job?

I am really pleased to see this post - joy in others achievement is a management core.

Posted by PaulH at November 10, 2009 10:49 AM

Paul,

Great additions here. Love them. Thanks for sharing.

Best,
Raj

Posted by Rajesh Setty at November 10, 2009 10:57 AM

What a wonderful post – thank you so much Raj.

My question:

Would I do what I am asking this person to do?

Caring is one of the most under-estimated qualities of effective managers and leaders. Words like ‘caring’ are often seen as ‘soft’ in the allegedly ‘hard’ world of effective management. What absolute garbage thinking that is. Genuinely caring for the people you lead (and by the way, proving it by your actions) is perhaps THE GREATEST quality of any leader. I recommend that anyone not agreeing might enjoy reading 'Shackleton's Way' which captures brilliantly the genuine 'care' Shackleton had for his followers. Shackleton is described in the book as “the greatest leader that ever came on God’s earth, bar none.” Shackleton’s leadership style was underpinned by caring for his followers.

Posted by Trevor Gay at November 10, 2009 6:26 PM

Here's a question that really separates the sheep from the goats:

Whose fault is it when something goes wrong?

Posted by Mike L. at November 10, 2009 6:38 PM

Trevor, Mike:

Thanks for the comments and great additions here. Love them both.

Trevor, you are right on the value of caring. In fact, I think genuine caring will also be a competitive advantage. If all else is equal between two leaders one who will care more will have more power.

Best,
Rajesh

Posted by Rajesh Setty at November 10, 2009 6:42 PM

Three observations, as the fog/mist lifts on another Midland's morning:

I hope they all drive carefully and arrive here five minutes late rather than dead on arrival?

Trevor and PaulH bang on the money again I love the contrast and would ask you both have you cared enough today?

For me, I think it would be "Have we all been suitably challenged today?" the difficulty is in the detail of suitably and challenged, but if I have made you think, then I think I have done some of my job, if I have encouraged you to think and act then I have done some more of my role, if I have supported you to think, act and deliver then we are well on the way to a fruitful partnership, if I have then enabled you to think, act, deliver and celebrate that delivery, I will have had the desired effect on your heart as well as your mind, encourage the heart.

Tom, thanks for this post, for making me think, act and deliver, I am off for a cup of the best tea I can find to celebrate a reflective start of the day.

Patrick

Posted by patrick at November 11, 2009 3:01 AM

Patrick - Love your question - as Trevor pointed out caring is not soft so challenging people, and sometimes being hard nosed about it, to be the best they can be is a real sign that you care for them

You have made me think - thank you
(and in my world there are few higher compliments)

Posted by PaulH at November 11, 2009 4:18 AM

Great reflections as always Patrick – and as Paul says, you have made me think. Have I cared enough today? – I hope so. My 4 year old Grandson had surgery yesterday following a school accident resulting in a badly broken arm – Did I care enough – you bet I did :-)

Having spent 35 of the last 40 days on trains covering several thousand miles around the UK on business I can totally empathise with your comment about it being better to arrive five minutes later than dead on arrival. I thank God for the safety and efficiency the various train companies have demonstrated - they have been absolutely brilliant.

I’m just having my second cuppa of the morning Patrick - the good news is the fog has cleared in this tiny corner of Shakespeare’s beautiful County.

The dog walk this morning is going to be greatly enjoyed with more reflections of your brilliant question – “Have I cared enough today?” – and again, as Paul says - you have made me think

Thank you Sir.

Posted by Trevor Gay at November 11, 2009 5:27 AM

Matthew 7:1-12

1 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged.
2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3 Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
4 How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
6 Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.
7 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
9 Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?
10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?
11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
12 SO, IN EVERYTHING, DO TO OTHERS WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO TO YOU, FOR THIS SUMS UP THE LAW AND THE PROPHETS.

-Jesus Christ

Posted by Judith Ellis at November 11, 2009 5:57 AM

Judith - Thanks for that timely reminder of the words of the greatest management guru of all.

Posted by Trevor Gay at November 11, 2009 6:14 AM

Are you willing to let go of the control?

For example, if you are a cell phone company, will you support initiatives to make the phone number independent of the service provider, so that your customers have the freedom to choose other providers while still retaining their phone number?

Jay, Bangalore

Posted by Jayakumar Hariharan at November 11, 2009 6:50 AM

I mean, "Are you willing to let go of control?"

Jay, Bangalore

Posted by Jayakumar Hariharan at November 11, 2009 6:54 AM

Trevor - He is altogether lovely, isn't He?

The beauty in the effort of removing the plank is that it will be forever lodged as we are all imperfect. Because of this our judgment of others never occurs. We may set up many laws and write many great words, of such there is no ending. But the basic of it all is "in EVERYTHING do to others what you will have them do to you." Yes, it is the lack of caring that has brought us to near ruin. I'm sure that these questions are probably laughable on Wall Street, although the facade of caring resides. Goldman Sachs executives are sounding more and more like televangelists, where once televangelists modeled their "businesses" after theirs.

Recently, Lloyd C. Blankfein, the Chairman and CEO of Goldman Sachs, said he was doing "God's Work." This was after Lord Brian Griffiths, Goldman Sachs Senior International Adviser, said "We have to tolerate the inequality as a way to achieving greater prosperity and opportunity for all...'To whom much is given much is required.'" Taxpayers bailed banks out for nearly $800 billion. Methinks Goldman Sachs executives and many televangelists are "a sounding brass and a tinkling symbol," while filling their coffers with other people's money that in many cases do not offer progress or salvation. Both indebt others worldwide while becoming rich.

Here is Christ on the subject:

"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are."

--Matthew 23:15

All progression is not progress and all deliverance is not salvation. "Caring ENOUGH?" Ha!

Posted by Judith Ellis at November 11, 2009 9:50 AM

There are some days I love this blog, today is one of them.

trevor, thanks as always to be noted as a Sir! and the fact the trains are great is heart warming

paul, I am humbled by your accolade

Judith, its been a while, but that was epic if not biblical, thanks

Jay, we should always let go of control, its odd to think we can?

have a wonderful day of caring...

Simply Patrick

Posted by patrick at November 11, 2009 9:52 AM

“He is altogether lovely, isn't He?” - No argument from me there Judith – thank you again.

I recently read “God at Work” by Ken Costa a highly successful investment banker in the City of London, where he worked for over 30 years. It is a fabulous book about the tension he felt being a committed Christian in the very competitive world of high finance. You would enjoy the book I’m sure Judith. I highly recommend it.

One of my particular favourite Bible readings - which I have printed on a poster by my desk to remind me every day about the fallacy of ‘worshipping’ financial wealth - is the following:

“Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.”

1 Timothy 6:17–19

Wonderful!

Posted by Trevor Gay at November 11, 2009 10:18 AM

"Sir Patrick of Warwickshire" has a certain ring to it .... :-)

Posted by Trevor Gay at November 11, 2009 10:25 AM

Away with management claptrap and the quoting of mythical figures. Look in the mirror. Ask: "Did I do my best?" Reflect and move onwards.

Posted by Mark JF at November 11, 2009 10:46 AM

"Look in the mirror. Ask: "Did I do my best?"

I definitely agree with you there Mark.

Regarding 'mythical figures' - As you and I have discussed previously, one persons myth is another person's reality my friend - Each to their own :-)

Posted by Trevor Gay at November 11, 2009 12:04 PM

So many great questions here. Thanks to all of you for the wonderful additions. One day, I will compile the nuggets from these comments :)

Thanks to Paul, Mike, Judith, Jayakumar, Trevor, Patrick and Mark JF

Best,
Rajesh

Posted by Rajesh Setty at November 11, 2009 12:19 PM

Mark JF - Every morning when I arise and every evening when I retire, I, for one, ask myself, "Did you do your best today?" Many times I am successful; other times I fail miserably. But I arise yet again with the same purpose, to be better than I was the day before. The reminder is a good one.

The problem with your statement is that we should not simply "move onwards" when the lack of caring as shown repeatedly on Wall Street continues and costs the rest of us big time. Many people lost their jobs, entire retirements and school endowments have been greatly reduced because of the actions of Wall Street to deal in derivatives. That is precisely the problem and I steadfastly disagree with you that we need to move on. We have moved on time and time again when we should not have! Radical change is needed. Since we are talking here about "Wall Street: The Other Las Vegas," I see your "claptrap" and raise you another. There is no real reflection as there is no admission of guilt. And you want us to move on? I think not!

Arianna Huffington wrote a brilliant post yesterday, "Why It's Wrong When Wrongdoers Admit to doing No Wrong." It deals with precisely what you are asking us to do. Yeah, this is exactly what self-serving careless politicians and Wall Street executives count on. You just want to move on, eh? You’re weary, huh? Here is a bit of what Arianna said about JP Morgan who was fined by the SEC $25 million--mere pennies--but as a part of the settlement admitted no wrongdoing. Such was also the case for Bank of America:

"So no wrongdoing admitted, and time to move on to the next lucrative money-printing scheme. How tidy. This is what passes for justice on Wall Street these days. If you commit a petty crime and hammer out a plea bargain, you'll have to admit wrongdoing as part of the agreement. But put on a suit and commit a billion dollar crime and you won't even have to admit you did anything wrong. It'll be as if it never happened, which, of course, makes it much more likely that it will happen again.

"We saw the same dynamic played out earlier this year in the legal saga surrounding the $3.6 billion in bonuses that was awarded to Merrill Lynch executives just before the failing firm was acquired by Bank of America (with a lot of help from American taxpayers, who bailed out with $45 billion).

"It appears that Bank of America executives failed to inform their shareholders that, as part of the acquisition, they were going to give billions to the executives who had been at the helm while Merrill lost $27 billion in 2008. Had the shareholders been told, the news would more than likely have put a crimp in the hastily arranged deal."

Mark, your ignorance of the historical Jesus is apparent, as you refer to Him as merely mystical. I refer you to the historian, Josephus. You interjected the notion of religion by questioning belief. I interjected the words of wisdom spoken by Christ. Because Christ spoke these wise words does that nullify their significance? Does that negate others? It should not.

Let me also say another important thing. I am a believer in Christ as the Son of God and have lived in other parts of the world and studied comparative religion. It does not matter to me who speaks words of truth. I receive them. The words of those who I greatly admire include Christians, non-Christians, and atheists, some of whom have been personal friends of mine for many years. Whether great admirers of these as historical figures (including Buddha, Mohammed, Darwin, etc.,) or personal friends, I read and listen with full attention and respect them, even if they differ from me.

RAJESH! – I'm sorry that I was remiss in thanking you for a thoughtful post. Thanks! It's good to read your post here again.

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Trevor - Thanks for the book recommendation. I'll check it out.

Patrick - I appreciate your words above. Thanks you.

PaulH - Yours too!

Posted by Judith Ellis at November 11, 2009 12:52 PM

Jayakamur - While I appreciate your example, I thought that specific issue was dealt with some time ago. (Well, at least here in the US it has been.) Recently, I changed services and upgraded my phone, there was no charge and I retained my same number that I've had for more than a few years, even though the carrier is different. To care for the client is this way is good. But as with many things, fees are what matter most. Where are you writing from? Are you the "Jay from Bangalore" that used to sign his name so? I liked that sense of global awareness. :-)

Posted by Judith Ellis at November 11, 2009 1:03 PM

Two questions...
1. Does hearing about a bad customer experience keep you awake at night?
2. Does hearing about a good customer experience make an otherwise crappy day great and put a bounce in your step?

Posted by Peter Osborne at November 11, 2009 5:34 PM

Peter - I love your questions. That's care and engagement. Thank you.

Posted by Judith Ellis at November 11, 2009 10:12 PM

Hi Judith

Unfortunately, that is yet to happen in India!
Yes, I am that "Jay from Bangalore", and I live- and work - in Bangalore.

Jay, Bangalore

Posted by Jayakumar Hariharan at November 12, 2009 12:45 AM

Peter, great questions and thank you.

Judith, Jay:

On number portability and Indian carriers, a quick note. There is no incentive for Indian carriers to go out of the way to make it easy for consumers. There are more than a billion potential consumers and some of them have more than one cell phones. So, really, the carriers don't care if some consumers are not happy with them.

Customer service is not that of a big priority when customers are not so scarce.

Best,
Rajesh

Posted by Rajesh Setty at November 12, 2009 1:56 AM

Peter

It keeps me awake at night (too often for my own good sometimes)

As for your second question - I learned from a great tech support leader a while back who always wanted to hear the good customer experience as well as the complaints - "My vitamin pills" he called them.

Posted by PaulH at November 12, 2009 2:23 AM

Just a thought. "My best" - what does that mean exactly?

Posted by RobCH at November 12, 2009 6:21 AM

Rajesh - That is a great point which proves that profitability is second to caring. The same is true for in other industries such as where it appears that child labor laws, living wages, etc., are secondary to caring as it relates to the worker. This is what I meant earlier about the conversion of say capitalism where "you travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are."

While the message of a free democratic market is "preached," I wonder if the reality of the conversion makes the converts "twice as much a son of hell" as they will then go out and duplicate the same practices for profitability under the guise of freedom, further exploiting this rather awesome principle having learned from the "best." Often democracy is not even embraced. Yet, this free democratic market system of capitalism is not adopted. So, you have the adoption of certain principles without the culture which enabled it.

For me, capitalism, rooted in the right to choose is essential as freedom is important. But I think that we have in many cases exploited this notion to the detriment of others and it is very possible, in fact, to have bondage for some while freedom is exercised for others. Now, the alternative view could be to look at the state of the worker before such and after. Having lived in a developing country where food is most important, I have seen some stuff where workers will turn on each other on literally a dime. This breeds a kind of exploitation and a sense of vulnerability that I had not seen before.

Care is completely subjective to profitability. So, outside companies go to other countries and build their businesses abroad thereby setting up in that country a system of a democratic market under the guise of freedom that can be seen as exploitation which makes the new convert twice as twisted because they perpetuate this practice. Ask me if I think that this will change? I do not. "The love of money" is a powerful source, but the "root of all evil." This is not money itself, but the love of such which crowds out all other necessary measures and boundaries. This is the push for profitability over caring.

I have thought often of the brilliant child stars of "Slumdog Millionaire" and have written of them often on my blog. Not only did the child actors of "Slumdog Millionaire" not get paid the same wages as American or even British children, although there appeared to have been measures put in place that would enable a better life for them, the whole community, including the parents, did not allow for the safety of these children. This enables abuses of all kind.

Perhaps there was not much the "Slumdog Millionaire" producers could do under this situation, as the community from the parents to the government seemed to turn their heads although this may have been profitable for them. I guess there must be HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of children whose parents are just wishing to have them exploited in the movies and business. But we have a amoral responsibility to care. The children of "Slumdog Millionaire" were to my understanding exploited, no caring there. The free democratic system is then built upon a system of exploitation refined to perfection. Of course, "the wealth of nations" has all been built on such.

Posted by Judith Ellis at November 12, 2009 7:33 AM

Judith,

Thanks for sharing this. I had not thought of this in such detail before. Now I will hop over to your blog to read about a few things you referenced in the comments.

Best
Rajesh

Posted by Rajesh Setty at November 12, 2009 11:03 AM

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Judith - I think you're wrong about "move onwards" because you assume it doesn't include addressing the issues you refer to. Just because we've moved on without great success in the past doesn't mean we shouldn't continue to move on. In fact, we should redouble our efforts. (Fail forward faster, anyone?!)

Posted by Mark JF at November 12, 2009 12:44 PM

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Mark JF - If I have misread your comment, I stand corrected. The mention of the "claptrap" and your strong admonition that we are perhaps in our own echo chamber indicated to me that you thought that there was some deflection going and a bit of unrealism. After all we were too with the quoting of mythical characters. “Away with management claptrap and the quoting of mythical characters” you said poetically. I reject any notion that we have been reflective enough. I reject any notion that we have spoken about this crisis too much. Does reflection and moving on mean change? If so, we haven't had it. In the height of the crisis the government allowed Goldman Sachs to become in essence a community bank with the same FDIC protections and they have resumed their practices that brought the global financial to a near collapse. It will happen again, but this time for many multiple trillions. Just think the S&L scandal was a mere $150 billion. This latest bank scandal, which we’re not even calling a scandal, was nearly $800 billion. Naw, maybe I'm stuck on your choice of words here, but we should not "move onwards." Words matter and personally I don’t like your choice of them for a company like Goldman Sachs. If by "Fail Forward Faster" Tom means keep doing the same failed practices repeatedly, this phrase which once had significance for me no longer has such. But I don't think this is what is meant by the phrase. This would be the definition of insanity which is precisely what we have had on Wall Street repeatedly.

Posted by Judith Ellis at November 12, 2009 3:30 PM

At one point in his career,Andy Warhol would put his signature and say he cretaed it for the money.
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1599695,00.html

Posted by zorro at November 12, 2009 8:54 PM

great list of questions and something worth reviewing on a regular basis!

Posted by dj adelaide at November 15, 2009 6:35 PM

I work for Keith Ferrazzi as his Social Media Manager, and I'll tell you - we place the utmost importance on the "choice to care" about another person. Because it is a choice: we can either prejudge and make a choice not to care about another person, or we can make the choice TO CARE and open up a whole new world of potential relationships in our lives.

After we make the choice to care, our next step is to find a way to help the other person. Always be thinking of ways to help other people - everyone. Think about who else you know that can help, and connect them.

Keith talks extensively about these paradigms in his book Who's Got Your Back. Check it out if you have a chance.

In the meantime, we'd love to have you stop by our blog. We're at http://www.keithferrazzi.com.

Cheers!

Posted by Ryan Geist at November 16, 2009 1:13 PM

Rajesh, after some days' thought, mainly about what can possibly constitute "enough" in the context of caring:

1. Do you also care about people you don't like? Or who are very different from you in lives or views?
2. Do you care about people you don't know and will never meet?
3. Do you care about people, or particular individuals?
4. Is your caring empathising or patronising?
5. Is your caring still really all about the benefits to you?

Regards

Posted by RobCH at November 17, 2009 1:28 AM

Great additions here RobCH. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks to all of you for enriching this conversation with your caring comments :)

Best,
Rajesh

Posted by Rajesh Setty at November 17, 2009 5:52 PM

Excellent steps to check your level of empathy and reaching out to coworkers.

http://www.powercareernow.com/

Posted by allan at November 22, 2009 3:22 AM

Hi, and powerfull thread. As an ex combatant in the mainstream economy, or fiscal warrior in the global fight for revenue, and based on the Eastern seaboard of South Africa, I would like to share a social phenomina with you.
Here, we are all born into a paradigm which is encapsulated and simplified into the belief that a person is only real by his definition bty others. In other words, I am only because of you. I do something, and that act is measured not by my actions, or my effort, or anything I can use, but by the perception or measuring of my fellow man. It is codeified in the mantra umuntu muntu ngmuntu where muntu is dialict for person.

Interesting that this popped up while reading the comments. Great , and again thanks Rajesh, and others.

Posted by Bryan at November 23, 2009 5:30 AM

Bryan - What you have simply and beautifully described here is what Sartre defined as the distinction between the en-soi, those that exist in themselves, and the pour-soi, those that exist for themselves. But both cannot exist without the existence of others in what Hegel defined in the presence of the Other. I love your words. Thank you.

Posted by Judith Ellis at November 23, 2009 7:33 AM