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dispatches from the new world of work

The "Eight Courtesies"

The toughest part of writing a new book is choosing the epigraph—a dozen words penned by someone else that perfectly encapsulate what one has been up to for the prior five years. Well, I am entirely happy, even ecstatic, about the epigraph to The Little BIG Things*:

Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart.—Henry Clay

In fact, I'm now making what I call "The 'Eight Courtesies'" the centerpiece of my presentations. Below you'll find the List of Eight. Also, I have included a fully annotated version of The Eight Courtesies PowerPoint. (And a shorter version, from shorter presentations, The Five Courtesies PowerPoint.)

The "Eight Courtesies"


  1. Stay in touch. (MBWA.)

  2. Invest in relationships. (Make friends. Obsess.)

  3. Listen. (Respect. Learn. Student. PROFESSIONAL. Sustainable Competitive Advantage #1)

  4. Ask. (Engage. Inspire. Consult. React.)

  5. Thank. (Appreciate. Acknowledge.)

  6. Network. ("Suck down." C(I)>C(E).)

  7. Apologize. (Unequivocal. Rectify. Over-react. Forgive.)

  8. Practice thoughtfulness. (Kindness is free. This is ... STRATEGIC.)

The "Five Courtesies"


  1. Listen. (Respect. Learn. Student. PROFESSIONAL. Sustainable Competitive Advantage #1.)

  2. Ask. (Engage. Inspire. Consult. React.)

  3. Thank. (Appreciate. Acknowledge.)

  4. Apologize. (Unequivocal. Rectify. Over-react. Forgive.)

  5. Practice thoughtfulness. (Kindness is free. This is ... STRATEGIC.)

[*Tom's new book, The Little BIG Things: 163 Ways to Pursue Excellence, is to appear in early 2010.—CM]

Tom Peters posted this on 11/25/09.

Comments

Tom,
I'm finding this all to be so true - and realizing it more and more each day. They are all good - the "trump card" here, I think - is the last one in each list: Practice thoughtfulness. I really believe this can be the difference between "average great" and "deeply great".

Posted by Lance at November 25, 2009 9:15 AM


Thanks for the P/Point, the hints n' tips and the advice.

Posted by Mark JF at November 25, 2009 9:38 AM


"average great" and "deeply great".

Nice distinction, Lance.

Posted by tom peters at November 25, 2009 10:06 AM


How about # six -
don't rationalize outsourcing -
especially if you are in an occupation (business celebrity) that has no skin in the game.

Posted by zorro at November 25, 2009 10:19 AM


Tom, first thanks, second and more:

Bold
Basics
never ever give up, it has a consequence

Posted by patrick at November 25, 2009 10:21 AM


Webster's On-Line defines the noun "courtesies" as, "1.courteous behavior; gracious politeness
2.a polite, helpful, or considerate act or remark
3.an act or usage intended to honor or compliment a former legislator addressed as “Senator” by courtesy."
(#3 is a bit archane, but still true).

I think the intent is that acts of courtesy are/become inate, natural, not forced, and not for the purpose of personal gain.

You appear to be expanding the definition - an excellent ambition since a distinction from the extant definitions seems to be embodied in your key lists.

I'll be interested to see how you handle the distinction in your new book!

Posted by Randy Bosch at November 25, 2009 10:28 AM


Geez, Randy, you just set the bar sky-high!!

Posted by tom peters at November 25, 2009 10:51 AM


"I think the intent is that acts of courtesy are/become inate, natural, not forced, and not for the purpose of personal gain". Spot on, Randy. Courtesy derives from what you are, day in and day out. It's not a convenient customer relations tactic, done for the payback.

Posted by RobCH at November 25, 2009 11:08 AM


The list is life. Thanks, Tom. Beautiful. But you have left out one of your favorite words, love. Without it, what do we have really?

Posted by Judith Ellis at November 25, 2009 11:29 AM


Tom, thanks for your list. I was once told by my manager not to be so courteous with our audience (clients) [primarily attorneys] and definitely, don't thank them for participating in training we deliver for them! He implied that attorneys are too busy for courtesies and thanks! Seemed all so wrong-headed to me and an ill-advised approach to nurturing our new and/or existing clients! Some would just not get your great pints here.

Posted by Rich Wersinger at November 25, 2009 12:35 PM


The value of these types of "tools" increases incredibly the closer you get to the where the work gets done...the factory floor, the flightline, on the phone, behind the counter. They are tools for execution and innovation. Everyone says "people are our most important resource"...these are the tools that enable you to prove it to them and translate those words into results. Relationships are necessary, these tools maximize their effectiveness and value.

I seem to recall a quote that said "The problem with using simple language is that you have to know what you are talking about." When it comes to improving performance, productivity, and results...you damn sure know what you're talking about with this concept. Exceptional it is indeed!

Posted by Dave Wheeler at November 25, 2009 1:59 PM


"The problem with using simple language is that you have to know what you are talking about."

New to me, Dave. A keeper!

Along similar (sorta) lines: “The art of war does not require complicated maneuvers; the simplest are the best and common sense is fundamental. From which one might wonder how it is generals make blunders; it is because they try to be clever.” —Napoleon

Posted by tom peters at November 25, 2009 2:51 PM


"Geez, Randy, you just set the bar sky-high!!"
Tom,
No extra charge!
Just remember me at bonus time!

Posted by Randy Bosch at November 25, 2009 4:39 PM


I was in the attic looking or Xmas decorations today when I came across a box of stuff that I had collected from my time as a "TQM Consultant" in the Air Force. It would appear I was in Memphis 6/21/1995 at a Tom Peters seminar at The Peabody per the Travel Voucher copy clipped to an envelope that was in the box . I left the seminar with a booklet titled "Lessons in Leadership" and my favorite was one I had marked titled "Who is this Boss-Person, Anyway?" It told a story of one Capt Dick Anderson and a Navy Ensign named Tom Peters. Ensign Peters thought the world of his boss but says he never paid much attention to him because "I had a lot to learn and he was a busy guy" So Ensign Peters says he "instinctively" turned to the experts--enlisted men (surveyors, carpenters, electricians, bulldozer operators) and ,in particular, chief petty officiers who always seemed to have the time to explain things to you if you were geniuinely interested in what they were up to." Ensign Peters said the other folks he worried about were his customers...the Marines and Army Special Forces types he was building stuff for. He says he figured "if I focused on the customers and the guys I was working with then the bosses--e.g. Capt. Anderson--would take care of themselves." I wrote a note on that page that said "This guy (expletive deleted) gets it!"

The ability to break the complex down and make it "simple language" ain't easy. But this Ensign Peters dude does it better than everyone. He further observed" Our primary role as "leaders" is to clear the silly B.S. out of the way--and let the troops get on the with the job." Napolean sure took the long way around to get to the simple...the obvious!

Posted by Dave Wheeler at November 25, 2009 7:04 PM


p.s....Should the list of of Eight ever need to expand to Nine then I think "Attentiveness" would fit nicely. This was described as "The Most Powerful Force in the Universe" (pg111)in the "Lessons In Leadership" booklet. Reference was made to Mary Oliver's Mockingbirds "The poor folks have no worldy goods to offer the unexpected visitors only their willingness to be attentive" Seems the visitors were Gods who treated this gift as the finest offering that could be made.

Attentiveness...is there a better way way to convey caring and respect for another?

Posted by Dave Wheeler at November 25, 2009 7:31 PM


Tom - I love all the 'courtesies' and the one thing they have in common - ZERO COST!! - there's one for the accountants to ponder :-)

"The problem with using simple language is that you have to know what you are talking about." Dave - as always my friend, you get it big time. Your quote sums up perfectly why so many front liners 'get' simplicity and many managers dismiss simplicity as 'idealistic thinking' ... And so they revert to making things unnecessarily complicated with unintelligible clap trap - often methinks for purely self-ego massaging purposes.

Posted by Trevor Gay at November 25, 2009 8:43 PM


Trevor is right on, as usual, and adding to his "methinks", often they do it to avoid accountability and responsibility, as well. Obfuscation!

Posted by Randy Bosch at November 25, 2009 9:08 PM


Great stuff.

Slide 122 says - "It costs far more to maintain a relationship than to dig up a new customer."

I thought it was the other way around - costs more to dig up a new customer than keep an existing one.

Posted by Tom at November 25, 2009 11:24 PM


Hi Tom

Today is the 1st anniversary of 26/11 and it is heartening to know that the lessons learned and the sacrifices made in Mumbai were not in vain.

To begin with, they helped our security forces nail 31 terror rings so far, saving countless lives.

One year after the carnage, Mumbai stands resolute; it's minorities and civil rights safe as ever.

It is also a proud moment when we know that India has spent 310 million so far to protect the lone terrorist captured alive and in good health.

"Through good and ill fortune alike India has never lost sight of that quest or forgotten the ideals which gave her strength", said Nehru, addressing the nation at another crucial hour, 52 years back. It is a privilege to know that the nation has nether abandoned the quest nor the ideals.

Today, I am proud to be an Indian.

Jay, Bangalore

Posted by Jayakumar Hariharan at November 26, 2009 12:31 AM


"Slide 122 says - "It costs far more to maintain a relationship than to dig up a new customer."

I thought it was the other way around - costs more to dig up a new customer than keep an existing one."

(1) Whoops.
(2) Thanks!

Posted by tom peters at November 26, 2009 8:47 AM


"It is also a proud moment when we know that India has spent 310 million so far to protect the lone terrorist captured alive and in good health."

Jay, wonderful--there is no better indicator.

I have tweeted for the last few days about the US-India lovefest in D.C. this week. Few things in our tubulent world make me happier.

When I was in Mumbai recently, I stayed at "the other" Taj. Needless to say the hotel manager and most of the staff lost close friends last year; we talked about it at length, and it vividly brought the horrid affair home to me.

Anyone surprised in the least by Indian resilience doesn't know India in the least!

India is perhaps the only place I'd want to live other than the U.S.

Posted by tom peters at November 26, 2009 8:55 AM


Jay, this was one of my tweets from yesterday: "I love India because it is a noisy, raucous, friendly, godawful but wonderful-wonderous democratic mess--just like home (USA) but more so!!"

Posted by tom peters at November 26, 2009 8:58 AM


"often they do it to avoid accountability and responsibility, as well. Obfuscation!"

Spot on Randy - well said :-)

Posted by Trevor Gay at November 26, 2009 5:08 PM



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