dispatches from the new world of work

The Awesome Act of Attention

"To be in the present with someone is a gift. The gift of attention is perhaps the most precious and envied of all. ...

"Think of someone who, while you are talking to him, is looking elsewhere, mentioning a subject that is irrelevant to what you are saying. Inattention has a disruptive, depressing aspect, which saps our vitality and robs us of our self-confidence."

From: The Power of Kindness, by Piero Ferrucci.

Message: Pay attention to the way you pay attention today/this week.

Consider: "Paying attention" is "the most precious gift."

Follow-up: Talk explicitly about the act of and power of paying attention. It is not only a "gift," but it is a "tool" that pays enormous practical dividends.

Tom Peters posted this on 05/11/10.

Comments

It's always good to be reminded of this, and it takes practice to put down the Blackberry, turn away from the keyboard, and actually exchange attention with another person. Thanks for the post!

Posted by Andrea Lewicki at May 13, 2010 10:25 PM

Yes just tonight I found myself physically holding my iphone while my 15yr old was relating a story about something that happened in school today. Thank goodness I had the sense to turnt the phone over and put it out of reach face down. Eventually if there is enough moments of displaced attention kids especially won't bother to try to get any of it. I think full attention is like 'gold' and have you noticed how attractive someone seems to you when they are giving you 100%?

Thank you for these thoughts.

Posted by helen at May 14, 2010 4:34 AM

Thanks for raising this Tom. This is a massively important subject.

I think that fact that paople willingly pay other people (coaches) for their attention speaks volumes. Ok so there is more to coaching than listening but the reality of it is that 90% is structured listening.

There are skills involved giving attention but most of it is about attitude - if you are interested in that person it will come across. I think this also crosses over into curiosity - People who are naturally curious ( I am in many areas) really want to learn from others and find out what makes them tick and what causes other things to happen the way they do.

Posted by PaulH at May 14, 2010 4:48 AM

I've heard that not giving attention, notice, or simple acknowledgment of ANY KIND to someone is literally insanity-inducing over time and has been used as form of psychological torture for political prisoners. If so, it makes sense that attention confers emotional/psychological benefits to humans in a variety of contexts - from child-raising to leadership development.

Posted by John O'Leary at May 14, 2010 4:13 PM

Attention is all there is - in love, kindness,compassion, sympathy, empathy,good service, good product or any thing worth anything on earth.

Inattention is - the opposite.I don't want you!I don't care.As simple as that.

Posted by V.VIJAYAMOHAN at May 22, 2010 2:19 AM